Me: Mom, Remy has peed while I have changed his diaper every single time today. I don't think the couch is a good idea.
My mom: It'll be fine, he's a good boy and hasn't yet peed on his Nana, and I have changed more diapers than you.
Me: Fine, but you're cleaning up the couch if he does. And I hope he pees on you.
My mom: You don't mean that.
Me: I actually kind of do.
My obedient son, evidenced in the wet spots on my mom's knees: